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People always ask me, "Chelsea, what did you do to your skin?" and "Chelsea, what happened to all of your skin??" Sometimes I'll run into a friend I haven't seen in awhile and they'll be like, "Did you have work done? Has it healed yet? Is it safe for you to be outside?" And I always just laugh and say, "I'll never tell!"


But now I'm finally ready to share my skin care secrets with the world. Here's what I do to get that bright rosy-fuchsia glow. 



First, I always wash my face twice a day, and nothing makes me feel cleaner than Dawn's Power Clean dishwashing soap. Sure, it's for dishes, but what are you cleaning off dishes? Food. That you eat. That goes into your body. And comes out your pores. Your face is basically a dirty dish oozing with baked in food particles, so this actually makes a lot of sense.

Second, I use India's finest prescription strength steroid bleach. It takes about two weeks to get through customs (or more, if they actually find out what's inside), but it's totally worth it. The longer I use it, the more I feel my skin fading away completely, letting the vibrant, underlying muscle show through!

Lastly, I forage for wild animal bones. When I have a good five pounds or so, I simmer them for two days to make a collagen rich bone broth. When that's done, the empty skulls make festive candy dishes.

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